Eulogy for Mom

My mom passed away Tuesday of last week. She was only 70. It was completely unexpected. She was healthy and active. She and my father spent the day riding their bikes around Muncie, attending an ice cream social and a concert. In the evening, she went to a friend's house to set up a computer for them, and had some kind of heart attack. The problems started around 6pm and she was gone by 8:30pm. So she had a wonderful last day and didn't suffer in passing.

Her obituary can be found here: Kathleen Kiefer Keil, 70, 12/28/1941-08/07/2012

Anyone who didn't know my mom may think that things said about her kindness and generosity are exaggerations of family and friends due to her passing, but anyone who knew her at all knows that she was truly one of the most compassionate and authentic people you could ever hope to meet. Hundreds of people came to pay their respects, many waiting in line for well over an hour to see her and tell us their stories. Fr. John said that maybe only 20% were from the Church itself, as Mom had touched so many communities. Dad spent time with each visitor, and Ed and Ben and I received many hugs and kind words. I felt like we were getting back from all these people a little bit of the love Mom had shared with each of them.

Each of Dad, Ed, Ben, and I said something at her funeral, which was held at the St. Francis Church in Muncie, of which she was a founding and continuing core member and where we went on Sundays when I was growing up. Here is what I had to say, reconstructed from the same notes I used then:

A long time ago, when this hall was much smaller, there would often be banners hanging around the walls. One set which made an impression on me for some reason declared various appellations of Jesus: 'Prince of Peace', 'Wonderful Counselor', 'Lamb of God' "who takes away the sins of the world". That was my mom. She sanctified everything she encountered.

Now I'm working with Buddhism, where they emphasize qualities like compassion, generosity, loving-kindness, and sympathetic joy. That was my mom too. You could take any list of virtues or positive human qualities from any tradition, and my mom would exemplify those.

I want to call attention to just one quality now: Peacemaker. As an example, an event that has had a large impact on me. When I was a teenager I got into some stupid and illegal things. Eventually the time came to face Mom and Dad. What I remember is that Mom wasn't angry or disappointed with me. She was just concerned for me and wanted to understand why I would feel like doing those things. Wow. A human can be like that. Always caring, always understanding.

So I would like to ask each of you to please choose some positive quality that you identify with and just engage in that activity a few times, mindfully, thinking of my mom. Please dedicate a few acts of kindness or generosity or understanding to her memory.

In this way, we can help to spread and continue her boundless energy for love and peacemaking throughout all the communities that she has touched and throughout the world.

I think that would be the best way to remember her: to carry on in her spirit.

Thank you.

So I would also like to encourage any readers of this to do the same. Whether you knew my mom or not doesn't matter. Just please do a few good things mindfully, and if it makes sense to you, dedicate the merit of those acts to my mom.